I am a third generation “City Manager” who spent almost 38 years in a profession that I loved. Being an executive, leading a public organization is the greatest avocation which anyone can choose. I loved it more than you can imagine but I determined that there were many other things I loved more.
My father was a city manager during the 1970’s and 80’s. I wanted to be just like him and he was my “hero” with all the cool projects he worked on. During that time, there were no support resources and mechanisms for city managers during a crisis. I saw him going through some extremely rough periods, working with difficult city councils, being terminated without notice and the stresses of supporting our family. I will share that the city manager role ate him up and he died from alcoholism at the age of 51. He raised my brothers and me as a single father and we loved him immensely. He never met his grandchildren. Although I wanted to be a city manager and father like him, I took a vow not to end my life like him.
I’ll share that my own career ended at a very stressful juncture. Ultimately it was my brothers, my wife and family telling me to choose them and my own health over the profession. As I look back on things, it was the prioritization of the good things in life which benefitted me during the toughest periods, and challenges in my 38 years. The ability to “turn off the City Manager” periodically was a critically important part of my life regimen.
Preservation of your mental and physical well-being requires a “focus” on those elements which will bring you balance and help maintain yourself, even during the most difficult periods which arise. These include leading a “life of purpose” where you are fulfilling your many roles as a person; focusing on the “big rocks” in your life; managing your “organizational culture” so that you and everyone loves working there; taking control and proactively organizing your life to fit in the most important things; and finally, realizing when you are in a toxic situation and navigating self preservation.
Lead a Life of Purpose- Fulfill your Life Roles
You have many titles, the least of which is being the “City Manager” or “Executive.” In addition to our job, we are all brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, partners and friends and community members. The balance of your emotional health must be rooted in your fulfilling your many roles by leading a life of purpose.
Being the executive is busy but not too busy to drill the most important things into your schedule:
- Date night with your spouse, partner, kids and friends.
- Family activities, your kids school and hanging with friends.
- Schedule time for your own self care. Do the things which bring you joy and happiness. Go fishing or a great road trip. Join a guitar group or a crochet circle. Take a long run or even two.
- Being a coach, Rotarian, school aide or delivering meals to seniors.
- Write and share. When was the last time you hand wrote a love letter to someone close to you?? Keep a diary of the things bringing you joy in your life.
- As a manager, scheduling time with your team members to touch base, not on work but to make sure they are pursuing balance in their lives and to make sure they are doing good.
The social stuff you do in your role as “the boss” needs to be excluded from all of this. Those folks, consultants, local business folks are friendly to you because of who you are! They are not really your “friends.” Have social time with your family and friends who choose to be with YOU, not the “City Manager.” Create time for you to be YOU and not your title!
As the leader of the organization, your role is to chart a course of destiny and success. Always make sure that you are charting that same course in each element of your life and make it your “purpose.”
Big Rocks:
There are many components in your life which are important. You need to have a focus on fitting the “big” items in first versus letting the “little” items absorb your time, thus negating getting to those most important items. Avoid interruptions which kill time during your work day, meaningless meetings and surfing ideas on the computer or devices which become a time waster. Learn to focus on “big rocks” as your constant priority in the allocation of personal time.
What are the big items? They are the following:
• Health and Wellness
• Relationships
• Self Care
• Education and Continuous Learning
• Not Urgent but Important Items
• Career
• Fun and Recreation
• Spirituality
• Finances
• Giving Back
As you plan and arrange your schedule, take time to put the “big” items first. Put your health and wellness first in your daily and weekly schedule, take care of key relationships with family and friends, plan and schedule your vacation and time with key people in your life. Do all those things which bring you happiness and mental well being. Do all of it as your priority and as a constant habit of your life plan.
I am a huge fan of Stephen Covey and the book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People . Here is a video of Covey talking about how to incorporate big rocks into your career: Big Rocks
Manage Your Organizational Culture:
You spend a ridiculous amount of your time in your organization, and it needs to be a place which is healthy and productive. If the “culture” of the organization is toxic, it will bring stresses upon you which will just ruin you. You are the boss and making the organization a “great” place needs to be your priority.
In my career, I was the City Manager of one city for 19 years and the next for 2.5 years. One had an incredible, mission driven culture where employees thrived and stayed. One dealt with massive turnover, and challenges in maintaining a mission focused vision. The importance of making the “culture” a priority will determine longevity, health and happiness.
Recently, I came across a program facilitated by the Municipal Resources Group for the City of Berkeley called “Employer of Choice” which I think is unquestionably the best organizational development program assessment I have seen in many years. The focus is on developing a roadmap and strategies in the dramatically changing workplace to improve recruitment and retention. The assessment recognizes that to achieve this goal, an organizational culture and development plan are informed by staff to improve the employee experience. Berkeley is engaging staff at all levels in the organization to implement the changes identified in the roadmap. It is a process that has them organizationally defining values and expectations to inspire participation and drive substantive change management. At its core, the initiative is about people doing the right things and is helping them build a mission-driven organizational culture, which, without question, should be a model for a new paradigm of employee engagement. Check it out here: City of Berkeley- Employer of Choice Program
Organize Your Life:
I am convinced that the real “super power” of City Manager’s is that we are exceptionally well organized with the ability to multitask a multi dimensional organization. With that said, you sure as heck can take a couple minutes of alone time at the start of each week to put together your “to do” list.
• Schedule your “big rocks” and make those your priority. Never forget YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR SCHEDULE!!!!!
• Review your “mission” for those key “roles” of your life and schedule them.
• Set accomplishment goals (executives like to accomplish goals). These can include key organizational elements, things with your friends and family, write that letter to your mother telling you how important she is, and plan an incredible date night with your kids, friends and loved ones. Check in with your key reports to make sure they are doing good.
Always make sure that those who work for you know that everyone’s, including your mental health is a priority. Let them know that you are scheduling priorities into your life, as they should! If you have an administrative assistant who controls your calendar, they need to be in on all of this.
Never forget, YOU ARE THE BOSS of YOU. Make your mental, emotional and physical health a priority of what you are doing each week. It all starts with a couple minutes by yourself.
If You are in a bad situation………
When you are in an unwinnable situation, walk away and preserve yourself.
As professionals, we have giant egos and self confidence that we can fix everything. We see much of this as a “challenge” but in reality, some things are not going to serve you.
You worry about what people will “think” if something does not work out for you. Your explanation is actually pretty easy, “it just was not a good situation and I got out to preserve myself.” Your peers, recruiters and your next job will understand all of this and if they don’t, move on to the one that does. Bad situations are not unique and you will gain more respect for self preservation than being the lead car of the train wreck. The world of being the executive has changed to include a lot of volatility. Make yourself the priority.
Finally…..It’s Lonely at the Top:
Being the executive and leading an organization “can be extremely lonely at the top.” People look to you for strength and confidence and you will find yourself internalizing and taking the stresses. You have few people you can talk with and sometimes nobody to share your emotions with. It will challenge every molecule in your body at times which can have dramatic impacts on your emotional, mental and physical health. It’s up to YOU to organize and prioritize your life in a manner which will keep you effective in your leadership while taking care the many other roles and joys in your life.
Very few things could have changed my course of being a city manager, except for the importance of preserving myself, my health and my mental/emotional well being so I can be there for my family. You need to keep that focus in your life to avoid so many of the pitfalls from burnout to sickness.
Control your destiny! Make YOU your priority!! Your ability to plan yourself to make sure you are taking care of the most important things in your life is critical to peace of mind for taking care of what matters most, self preservation and your emotional, mental and physical health.